Premier League manager Royal Rumble January 30, 2021 – Posted in: Soccer
The WWE Royal Rumble is upon us and talkSPORT is more excited than ever as 30 wrestling superstars in the men’s and women’s division battle for a title shot at WrestleMania.
We’ve seen shock wrestlers, embarrassing eliminations, huge entrances over the years making it one of the biggest spectacles in sport.
But one thing is bugging us. Which Premier League manager would win one?
They’re usually trying to tactically outwit opponents on the touchline and probably haven’t been anywhere near a wrestling ring in their lives.
But talkSPORT can’t help but think a Rumble involving all 20 bosses would be a Pay Per View hit.
So, Vince McMahon, perhaps let us look into getting this one locked in so we can see Jurgen Klopp lay the smack down both on and off the pitch.
Who would win though? We’ve rated every current Premier League manager’s chances.
Chris Wilder (Sheffield United)
Last season, The Wild Thing was a high-flyer, ready to knock down big guys from the turnbuckle.
Wilder is a straight-talking risk taker who can pack a punch on the deck.
However, injuries and poor form have seen his star fade and after one season battling with some of the contenders he’s now back to taking some pain.
Mikel Arteta (Arsenal)
As slick as they come, he’ll be a slippery customer if you let him do his thing in ring.
Unfortunately, it’s likely he’ll get turfed out without a hair out of place and unable to use one of his world-class finishers.
Graham Potter (Brighton and Hove Albion)
Every now and again, Potter is capable of giving the best in the business the run around but he just isn’t consistent enough.
Relying on youthful exuberance and tactical wit can only get you so far.
Winning the Royal Rumble demands street smarts and he’s still learning.
Scott Parker (Fulham)
He’s suave, he’s got the gift of the gab and there is certainly potential there.
Unfortunately, as with many younger stars, he’s a touch naive right now and might be easily thrown over the ropes when a top dog rolls into the ring.
Middle of the pack
Roy Hodgson (Crystal Palace)
The oldest swinger in town, he’s a wily performer. No flicks and tricks, he’s old school and efficient.
Hodgson picked up plenty of experience on his European travels which can make him a tough customer.
Solid but unspectacular, he might make the odd rival tumble out but at the end of the day he just can’t do it like he used to.
Dean Smith (Aston Villa)
Everyone loves a hometown hero.
He’s doing the best he can with the weapons he has at his disposal and is ready to argue with the referee too
He might just shock a few people this season having added a finisher to his skillful repertoire.
Smith is also getting a reputation for his defensive work too, showing he’s multifaceted and ready to lay the smack down on anyone sleeping on his talents.
David Moyes (West Ham United)
Rowdy Roddy Moyes isn’t afraid of a scrap. He’s been in a fair few in his time.
Not one of the top stars right now, his light was fading but has been given a chance here to prove the doubters wrong.
He’s not struggling as much as he has down in the past and could do some damage but we don’t think it’s going to end well.
Brendan Rodgers (Leicester City)
He might have a winning smile but Rodgers is still haunted by a failed title shot six years ago.
He’s built himself back up, working through the smaller divisions and is ready for a return to the main event.
Rodgers clearly has something up his sleeve but you wonder if only having one finisher to settle the Rumble will be enough?
Jose Mourinho (Tottenham)
In need of some attitude adjustment, the Special One is still trying to prove he’s the best.
A master of the mic, he can talk himself into a feud with anyone he likes.
Can he walk the walk after talking the talk though? He’s more likely to indulge in dirty tricks before being hoisted by his own petard.
Like Dick Dastardly in spandex.
Marcelo Bielsa (Leeds United)
Renowned as the inspiration for many superstars but he’s not won the big title for himself.
He’s an innovator, a wild man, and he’s got the strongest knees in the business.
The only problem? He attacks too much which leaves him open at all times for counters.
He’ll either win it or he’ll have a shocker. Nothing in between.
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer (Manchester United)
The Baby-faced Assassin has had his ups and downs over the last year.
Injuries had hindered his progress along with inconsistent form but now he’s got one of the best weapons in the game in his arsenal.
He can beat the top dogs on his day but the odd slip up mean that while he’s a title contender, we just can’t see him lifting the belt just yet.
Solskjaer could do with learning a few more moves rather than relying on his pace and his counters.
Steve Bruce (Newcastle United)
Big Daddy Cool has consistently been underestimated at the top level.
Always considered a rung down from the main event stars he’s seemingly always one match away from being a hero and one away from being a villain.
He’s a bit bigger than his rivals so might be trickier to get over the top rope but with enough persistence and creativity he can be beaten.
Fans don’t like him much either – the biggest heel in the business? He could be.
Nuno Espirito Santo (Wolverhampton Wanderers)
The Portuguese Man o’ War has caused the big boys plenty of problems since entering the Premier League.
He doesn’t back down from a fight, using his own unique style.
Many top opponents have fallen foul of his tentacles and he has established himself as one of the best.
He’s yet to prove himself as an elite contender but could this be his moment.
Sam Allardyce (West Brom)
Well, it’s the Big Show!
Absent for a year or two, he’s back with renewed vigour – and he’s still all about that Big Slam.
He’s got pints of attitude, laughs in the face of younger stars, but still hasn’t won a big prize yet.
Allardyce isn’t afraid of the dark arts and can do damage to the other contenders, but overall, you just know he won’t win anything.
Ralph Hasenhuttl (Southampton)
He’s back from the dead. Hasenhuttl has risen again.
Tough as old, knee high, boots, the Austrian isn’t to be messed with, once considered finished, he’s now one of the best around.
You can hit him with the biggest shots but he’s not going out without fight. Underestimate him and it’s you who will land feet first outside the ring.
Pep Guardiola (Manchester City)
The Cerebral Assassin – he’s got the pedigree and we all know it but injuries are catching up with him.
Guardiola usually wins thanks to his devastating array of finishers. He’s the man of 1,000 holds and you would want to give him a wide berth.
Carlo Ancelotti (Everton)
An experienced grappler and a crowd pleaser with the People’s Eyebrow, he has done it across the continent winning titles along the way.
He’s a master tactician and was once a main event on cards but is now fading. It might be a last hurrah for the Italian Stallion on Merseyside.
When it comes to the crunch he’s close but there will be no cigar.
Jurgen Klopp (Liverpool)
The Big Red Machine is almost unstoppable.
A giant of a man ready to go on the attack and go toe-to-toe with the best in the business.
Speed, agility, and stamina are what Klopp is all about and if you don’t watch your back you’ll get gegenpressed into submission.
He does, though, have tendency to eye the big prize and forget about the small fry – a weakness in a Rumble.
A surprise entrant given the title holder doesn’t usually take part.
Sean Dyche (Burnley)
A man who can flip from babyface to heel in less than 60 seconds, Dyche is here to ruffle feathers.
He doesn’t always get it right but he can spring a surprise on his day.
Dyche can unleash a Stone Cold Stunner should someone drowsily fall into his trap.
Klopp – the Big Red Machine – fell foul to his destructive tactics and look afraid in an outrageous slobber knocker at Anfield recently.
Dyche 3:16 says he just whooped Klopp’s ass – and he’s a sure-fire to win the Rumble too.